He no longer brought me home to see his family on vacation as I was too fat. Speak with the police. He was abusive and neglectful. the first time my husband physically abused me was on our wedding night. Have a great day, Kosi! Thank you for sharing your insights. Have a great day, Lucy! Of course you are, in light of what he’s done! I address to him that I can not get near him or want any short of attention from him because all he does is push me away. Whatever the case, we have compiled some of the more obvious signs. You might assume that your husband is cheating on you if he is away from home a lot, but the truth is that he might be just trying to avoid you. Maybe this is just a rotten phase or I’m too stupid to realize he doesn’t love me anymore. now he is asking for the custody of the children. He is also neglectful. EMAIL. Hello please I need your advice. Verbally and emotionally abused. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. The sooner you figure out what to do, the better because if you don’t do something about it, things are only going to get worse. God bless you love. Men have fragile egos, he wants to spend time away from home because probably in his eyes he feels less like a man when he’s there now because of the circumstance. Her family did not like her husband because he treated her badly but liked mine because he treated her well. I have always felt like he loved me as much as my family loves me but over the past few years, a lot of things have happened. Im tired of his shit, too, but I don’t throw people away. My husband and I have been together 20 years this month. I confronted him and he said that I would just have to live with it. You don’t want to admit it, but you think that you see signs your husband hates you. For example, a party with friends or a movie date. Your test will be how you choose to react to that decision, how you treat your husband, and how you choose to love your husband despite a decision he might make that you might not like. He has taken over my business and changed everthing to the point that we are now financially struggling, Whereas for 6 years straight we weren’t, this business is our primary source of income now that I brought him home to be apart of the business (after all he hated his prior job). What Does It Mean If I Keep Seeing the Same Person... What Does It Mean When You Dream of Getting Shot by... What Does It Mean to Dream About a Guy You’ve Never... What Does It Mean If You Dream About Your Dead Father. Best of luck, Suma! He may feel tired. Learn to like dominoes, get a sitter and play with him, or you can bet soon some other woman will have no problem getting your man to play with her and then you really will be an independent woman. It might be terrifying to actually do at first, but the only real way to know how he feels is to just ask him about it. Strengthen your relationships with your friends and family. When you got married, I bet you never – in a million years – would have imagined asking yourself, "What if my husband hates me?" If he has started to be violent, leave right away, and find a safe place to live in. I’m no saint, but I support him, praise him, and try to work on us. They are right.. listen we have but only one life…. You can be free. 99% of our fights are based on our children, our employees, and my husband not being tighter with our business finances. My mother killed herself and my brother and niece were living with her at the time, so we brought them to our house. Mind you i cook on my days off but there are some days where im completley mentally exhausted. He has abused you and neglected you. If you have cheated on your partner and your partner is aware of you then this one is a clear sign that this is why your partner hates on you. Whatever the reason, emotionally abusive behavior is not okay. Have a great day, Jfb! There is always benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion with the people who are in your life. Confusion has taken over. The way he behaves is not acceptable, and it may take a third party to listen and help him change. You need to end this relationship immediately. If you remain with your partner, he will become more violent and possibly will for you into prostitution. If your husband doesn’t really hate you but is just not invested in the relationship anymore, you must address the problem, start spending more time together, and learning how to constructively argue and talk about how to salvage your marriage. Have a great day, Jenni! The other option is most likely caused by an affair–or, at the very least, a desire to have an affair. I know you pride yourself on being an independent woman, as well you should, but it seems like you may accidentally be telling your husband you don’t need him and only care about fullfilling your own physical needs and pitting him against the kids by making them the enemy. Anne and I were divorced after five years of marriage, when she admitted to having an affair. What To Do When Your Husband Hates You? After being together for a long time, many people are afraid of taking the next step. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I pay all the rent he only pays the cell phone and internet bill. About three months ago he told me he hated me, can’t stand being around me, I make him miserable. Both of these are relationship killers. Look for changes in your behavior. Yet they didn’t like him because he treated me badly. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. What do I do.? Maybe if you didn’t pull a knife out on him he wouldn’t have felt in fear of his life and he wouldn’t have hit you. I’m ready to leave him and everything else behind me and start fresh 20 years later. While some guys are not extremely affectionate, you know what to expect from your husband already. He may be confused or uncertain about his feelings. The biggest problem is deciding what to do. I am no stranger to this feeling. I am pretty low maintenance and he never made an effort. Maybe he feels like he can never do anything right, or you talk down to him like he was stupid. Even if he has legitimate issues that cause his behavior (like poor role models growing up or an abusive childhood), it is his responsibility to work on those problems. He has become violent. Let’s be honest; most man will forget about the important dates, so ignore this sign if it is the only one. My husband comes from a very abused childhood, physically tormented by his older brother and molested by his other siblings (he’s the baby of 7). I’m still the one who has to take care of the food and the laundry and any cleaning, but he doesn’t do any of the things he did. before I got some money and moved out. ladies take back your power before its too late. He probably was trying to hit the knife away. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends, and end this relationship immediately. Hi ive been married to my husband for 7 years and been together for 11we have 3 children together our relationship was great we have had our ups and downs but always gotten threw it..till now ive never worked till a couple months ago i got a part time job he started to become insecure and started accusing me of cheating i havent been with anyone but him ive never cheated or even talked to anyone he has checked my goggle locations and phone hasnt found anything i dont delete anything its a open book it all started when i got a mark on my back he said was a hickey or a bite mark its now been months almost 7 nxt month and i still have the mark i told him it was a bra mark because thats what it looks like he thinks i move my bra strap to try and hide it from him im getting tired of the accusations and constant fighting for something thats not even true seems like he just wants a reason to fight i will say that when we have our little arguments i push myself away and ignore him when im upset and the more we argue the more i do it for longer periods of times not sure what to do would counseling help i love him so much i feel like he hates me by the way hes been treating me lately. it is absolutely heartbreaking yet here i still am. there is no love in my house. you need to respect yourself n your kids will too. Even if you stay married to your husband for the rest of your life, you can be free from his hatred and bitterness. He’s been a dick since we got back and treats me like I’m a nuisance that he wishes would just disappear. He has shown a lot of resentment for my family and for my brother leaving all of his things here when he moved out, and some of it was my fault because I didn’t make him take the things with him. If he is pushing you away, then it might mean that he no longer has feelings and wants the relationship to end. The things you’re seeing are likely symptoms of a deeper problem rather than the root cause itself. What to do when your spouse hates you. I really need your advise.he never hit me but he is showing signs that he will now do it if I disrespect him.he not trying to mend any of his bad ways like improving on showing me love and affection . I don’t ask him for money nothing he keeps his money away from me and our of our joint account I want to cry but why should I he lies and hide things I told him we needed to separate he got all mad and started yelling at me and says all I am doing is running away. Spend some quality time at the end of the day or the week to sit down and listen to each other’s problems and how your days passed. Immediately end this relationship and take your child with you. If you have been married for a while, you know what your husband normally acts like. sense i have been with him i havent worked so i dont have income or a place to go any advice? It sounds like he is the one who needs to change. If he suddenly avoids physical contact or stops kissing you good night, then there might be a problem. I am thousands of miles away from my side of the family (mom, brother, cousins, aunts, and uncles). He may have something else on his mind. You don’t want to become his victim, and if he is capable of hurting you physically, you are not safe around him. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. I am independent professional young lady I love my husband but the spark is not there I talk to him many times of this behavior because I am a woman with needs. The meaning of marriage is to have someone who will support you and be the wind beneath your wings, and you will always find a way to solve problems together even though you might not always agree on things. Ive aplolgized for every last thing I can. To save a marriage , you should want to keep it alive. I did all the laundry, cooking, cleaning and even the yard work. Fast forward into the business I created that got us out of the hole my husband put us in and gave us a better life than before. If he used to care and there is no reason for forgetting (like stress at work), then you should be worried. It is possible that his feelings for you have faded. These are just a few examples. He and my married best friend had an affair. Love, J. Have a great day, Mirriam! My husband abandoned me for 3 and half years,he left us,me and the children in an expired rent,when the landlord spoke to him on phone about the rent,he said he has no business with me or the kids. Strengthen your relationships with your friends and family. So lack of intimacy could be one of the signs your husband hates you. He prefers to sleep whole day eat sleep again. All you have to do is believe Jesus is who He says he is. Many women assume that their husband is having an affair if he is at work for long hours or is always at a friend’s house. Leaving now is the best option because this is an unhealthy situation. You know when he is telling the truth and when something seems wrong. You are lucky to no longer be in a relationship with a partner such as him. I deleted it. So 2.5 later I am still bitter as hell. I feel as if I am not loved by him anymore we don’t sex for weeks he don’t want it.He don’t spend time with me and the kids mostly on the internet or phone he hardly fix anything that broke in the house .i am tired of been treated like a maid or a nobody. I tried to talk about him about this behavior the next day And he called me a whore to my face, i reacted by slapping him in the face (which i know i shouldnt have) but in turn he pulled my hair so hard and choked me out. Have a great day, Amber! They might not always agree, but they work together to solve problems. Where do I go? Any type of abuse is simply unacceptable for whatever reason it’s happening. I cried for dear life begging him to let me go. When a man is no longer invested in a relationship, he will stop paying attention to the little things. Emotionally abusive could be actually calling you names, but it could also be more subtle. Break the ice gently yet firmly. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. I work and i drive to and from work everyday.i suggested we divorce he refused. He has zero interest in working on the relationship to make it … He might make sly comments that put you down or damage your ego. You don’t want to silence your partner, of course, but dwelling on such a negative situation will inevitably do more harm than good for both of you. When people have an addiction, they often deflect or try to blame other people for their behaviors. You have a place to go, so immediately end this relationship. I got pregnant after my NySC. At the very least, you should talk to your husband about the way he is acting with you. He is all I have. I have been married to my husband for 20 years and when it’s good it’s really good, but when it’s bad it’s evil. He can work on his problems alone and with counseling. I left my common law husband after 17 years. He does not love you. If you can’t just let things go and keep mentioning things he did years ago, he could have started to hate that. For this relationship to work, he will need to realize that his drinking is a problem and that he is the root cause of many of the problems that are going on. Our break and since then .He only pays the cable bill and thats 133.00 and 80.00 phone bill.When i pay 825.00 in rent he said the child support is his part of the rent .Also out all the years he never put his hands on me till one day i went through his phone and i did pull a knife out on him but i wasnt going do nothing but to scared him and he hit me in the faces out of 15 years not once has he hit me .I dont no if i should make it work anymore he puts a locks on his phone doesnt hig me kiss me or tell me he loves me.i have cancer and my treatment made me lose my teeth and he once told me lool at yourself he would want to kiss you like thats should i make my marriage work we have two kids and he rise my first born now she is 21 .and my son is 13 and my daughther is 8 what i should do walk away or make it work.my family pass away in the last 3 year my mom dad and sister and he doesnt even hold me when am crying. Morris agrees: “There is often a feeling of being trapped with someone you don’t like,” she says. Please continue to support our community with your positive thoughts and feelings. You are aware that your partner is controlling and manipulative. If you have proof of his physical abuse, then speak with law enforcement. A good idea is to visit a marriage counselor and try to work on your marriage. So if he is acting like he is making a list of all the things he hates about you, it’s something that happens when your husband hates you. 122 COMMENTS. My husband is not patient, has anger issues, is a hypocrite, has the mentality of “do as I say not as I do” and always turns every problem around on me. If it feels like yourhusband isn't good for you, you may need to seek help through a couple’s therapist, and if the relationship continues being toxic, you may need to walk away. Still, if he hates you because he wants to get out of the marriage but is afraid to do it, you might have to separate. I am 38 years and he is 41 years old.He don’t hug or kisses me anymore except when we making out which is whenever we both in good moods and not mad at each other he hardly speak when we do speak we fight,he he don’t buy gift or make me feel special on occasions like anniversary birthdays valentine or mother’s day he claimed he don’t have money .We both work and he give me all his money since we have lots of bills to pay I will manage the money .
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