You do not have the right to the possessions of others. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques. Find out the most Cute, Witty and Funny Collection of Best Potato Puns that will make you laugh like a crazy mad man. Last week someone broke into my house and stole 20% of my couch. 4. mashed potatoes alone?  He desperately wanted a scoop. Buy Joke Couch Potato- Drinks Mug Cup Kitchen Birthday Office Fun Gift #13239 at Amazon UK. ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home An imi-tater! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above “I Do” You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the World is full of idiots, and probably always will be. You do not have the right to physically harm other people. He burned his … A. 11. A balanced diet is a Driving I:Getting Past Automatic Transmissions hide. You don’t have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. save. Potato Joke 05 Why did the potato cross the road? ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. 26. Peter visits a watchmaker and asks if it's possible to make a clock out of potatoes. Feb 12, 2018 - Explore Fishy Anna's board "Couch Potato" on Pinterest. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes. 8. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am Understanding Your Financial Incompetence Looking for good old, run-of-the-mill potato jokes? What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? This is the best collection of jokes about sweet potatoes and yams anywhere. But when you know a bunch of potato puns and play on words, you can make your own silly quips that will leave the crowd (or your kids) laughing at your homegrown jokes. The Seven-Outfit Week A. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bull Funny Potato Jokes Know Your Taters Our Resident Couch Potato Potato Festival Leak Soup? The Morning Dilemma if IT’s awake: Take a Shower Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed. 33. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency 1. It's mashing! What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy 6. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure. What can you do to convince a potato to do what you want? _Crunch happened when potato sale drops down. The sweet potato said back,"Yes, I … Couch Jokes. The sweet potato told the potato,"Hey, I just found out I'm related to you." Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right 3. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels Come read our funny potato puns, including french fry puns, sweet potato puns, yam puns, potato chip puns, puree puns, mashed potato puns and spud puns. Combatting Stupidity 4. 5. share. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. Mothers-in-Law: They are People Too His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too 12. Q. anything, but he'd never made one out of potatoes before, and he'd have to do some research. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes Potato Sack exercise for improved strength and fitness Job for a Potato? for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. Most designs are available on T-Shirts, Tank Tops, Racerbacks, Sweatshirts, Hoodies and other items. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. Iain, the experienced watchmaker, replied it's possible to make a clock out of just about 28. A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. There is something about sitting in front of the TV Al Bundy style eating chips, dip, a basket of fries and doing nothing at all that people seem to love. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost 24. All of us sure want all of you to have one and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. You do not have the right to free health care. 11. We use cookies and similar tools to enhance your shopping experience, to provide our services, understand how customers use … 9. 17. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled “Fabric Bad, Electronics Good”) How to Stay Awake in Public 25. Furniture Jokes: Sit and relax with chair humor, funny recliner puns, home furnishing jokes, and bed puns couch potatoes find Sofa King awesome! That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in health care. What do you use to carry potatoes? A couch potato. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled “No, It’s Not a Bidet”) The New York Yamkees ... Puns & Jokes is a fun little site with one purpose: providing a chuckle. We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours _The creativity of designs are highly a-peeling. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man? 22. Seeing the True You (formerly “No, You Don’t Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked”) wonderful? 34. Most designs are available on T-Shirts, Tank Tops, Racerbacks, Sweatshirts, Hoodies and other items. couch potato definition: 1. a person who watches a lot of television and does not have an active life 2. a person who…. If you like these potato jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. Football: Not a Game: A Sacrament 13. 35. Sweet potato jokes are especially popular around holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas – but are great any time of year. What does a British potato say when it thinks something is Browse our collection of 21 Couch Potato T-shirts, Jewelries and more . 31. Shop Sarcastic Witty Couch Potato Funny Joke Meme Introvert Awkward Relax Cute Happy Inspirational Gift lazy pins and buttons designed by EpsilonEridani as well as other lazy merchandise at … everything on this page will be pick up lines...correction..EPIC! You, Too, Can Do Housework Over 40 Puns added in the article. I have a fat roommate that loves to stream but every time he does it he commentates on every little thing! Telephone Translations (formerly titled ” ‘Me Too’ Equals I Love You”) New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Later that day Iain calls Peter, the customer, and tells him he can make one, but it will take about two weeks before 3. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex report. The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinko bed-wetters. 2. Potato Joke 07 Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? Q. We hate oppressive. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! 7. 30. Funny Couch Jokes and Puns A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. Browse our collection of 2 Exercise Jokes T-Shirts . Potato Sack exercise for improved strength and fitness Job for a Potato? PMS:YOUR Problem, Not Mine (”It’s Happened Monthly Since Puberty: Deal With it”) Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often. Potato Joke 06 Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Potato in a football game is known as a spec-tater. Couch potato Saved by brooke henry. 17. Potato Sack exercise for improved strength and fitness, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales, Funny Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman Jokes. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! 16. You: The Weaker Sex governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like. The potato, being made entirely of starch, didn't get drunk at all, let alone tipsy. Q: Who is the most powerful potato in the galaxy? 1 comment. A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. "Couch potato" has caused immeasurable harm, not only to innocent potato farmers everywhere but also to couch-dwelling men like me. ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Will and Guy’s collection of funny, silly and surprising jokes in honour of the humble potato. 19. A couch potato. Because my carbo-hide-rate was so good. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights. 7. ARTICLE lX: You do not have the right to a job. Following is our collection of funniest Potato jokes.There are some potato dicktator jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. 9. Archived. You don’t have the right to a job. Gaining Five Pounds vs. ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. “The Weekend” and “Sports” are Not Synonyms So what if we spend countless hours on our backs watching TV -- that doesn't give anyone the right to compare us to a vegetable. Starch here. 25. 5. Funny Potato Jokes Know Your Taters Our Resident Couch Potato Potato Festival Leak Soup? 13. The Attainable Goal: Omitting “tits” From Your Vocabulary A big list of couch jokes! Funny Food Puns Food Jokes Food Humor Funny Stuff Funny Things Random Stuff 9gag Food Funny Fruit Funny Humor They all had a couple of drinks and had a merry time. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?  Because he was a commontater. Will and Guy’s collection of funny, silly and surprising jokes in honour of the humble potato. Funny Food Puns Food Jokes Food Humor Funny Stuff Funny Things Random Stuff 9gag Food Funny Fruit Funny Humor. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights. My love for you sprouts more and more everyday! Q: Why didn’t the potato want to go to the Halloween dance party? SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females), 1. The strange thing was that when I … Potato Jokes. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, … A couch made of potato!! 20. ... A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato… What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?  Anything, just butter him up. hes such a common-tater! Why do potatoes make great detectives? You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try Couch potato joke. Last week’s economist jokes are here. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. Silicon chips. Hear the one about the Irish guy who tried to blow up a car? Designed and printed in the USA. Potato jokes are classic, obviously. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary 16. you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. _A couch potato comes under lazy spud. A: A square root. The potato said," No you're are not!" 6. Close. You do not have the right to happiness. 3. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. How to Earn Your Own Money A: A Chipmunk. Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station 5. If I'm honest, a Russian dad couch potato trying to split up his daughter (whose age he can't remember) up with her boyfriend is a much funnier image. Why did I win the potato-hiding-contest? 26. Potato: As in “We were playing hot potato.” and “Meh, small potatoes.” and “Couch potato “. If you’re looking for sweet potato jokes, then you’re in the right place. 21. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. Select Your Cookie Preferences. Article by Funny And. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed Is it true that most potatoes can’t get so much done in a day because they are nothing but couch potatoes? Because they always keep their eyes peeled. 19. Elementary Map Reading However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat. Twelve Rules of Life Sponsored Links ∇ Potato Sack exercise for improved strength … If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. _A potato without a head is called decap-potatoed. 10. 14. ... 40+ Potato Puns And Jokes That Are Tater-ly Hilarious. You do not have the right to be free from harm. I’ll Wear it if I Damn Well Please See more ideas about funny quotes, bones funny, just for laughs. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb 27. How do you describe an angry potato? Baked pugtato If being a professional couch potato was a job most of you would be experts at it. Potato Jokes, Spud Humor, French Fried Puns ... A couch potato. 22. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver Potato Jokes. Just butter him up! That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in health care. There’s another bonus to potatoes beyond their deliciousness, too. Couch potato joke. A pouch potato. A pea, a lemon, and a potato all went out to the bar after work. Couch potatoes Jokes- Seminars for Males & Females- The Bill of NO RIGHTS- The Bill of No Rights. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) Boil : As in “Keep the pot boiling .” and “It all boils down to this: …” Cheap → Chip : As in “Come now, that was a chip shot.” and “He’s a bit of a chip skate.” and “It’s dirt chip … If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure. Which day of the week do potatoes dread the most? Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Orange Lights Posted by 2 years ago. Techniques for calling home, SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males). Designed and printed in … 6. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works You do not have the right to never be offended. 24. 50% Upvoted. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You’re Obviously Wrong Why are potatoes better for your vision than carrots are? 18. Because he was a commentator. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 1. 23. it's ready. I couldn’t understand why they were not angry at the yams. That's right!!.. If I’m honest, a Russian dad couch potato trying to split up his daughter (whose age he can’t remember) up with her boyfriend is a much funnier image. This thread is archived. Junk is something you've kept Couch Potato Jokes. The pea, being very small... read more If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. 0. 12. Q. 20. 14. Until eventually, you end up round and shapeless like a potato. Heard that burglars used a potato to smash a window and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted. ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. We hold these truths to be self, evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a “Bill of No Rights”. This one is exhausting. He saw a fork up ahead. We are living, breathing human beings, capable of deep thought and What do you call a potato stoner? Like us.. You won't be disappointed. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. Q: Why aren’t potatoes able to get out and work? 4. He desperately wanted a … Q: What do you call a potato with right angles? We hate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like. Q: What do you call a monkey who makes potato chips? We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money _Have you seen a rotate-o, a spinning one? Fry-day. A baked potato. You do not have the right to free food and housing. 2. A: Darth Tater. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the bathroom 15. The lemon, being citrus, didn't feel very good after the second drink. Later, I realized it is because they were simply sweet potatoes. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side 18. Reasons to Give Flowers She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. A: Because they’re couch potatoes ARTICLE VIII: You don’t have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. 32. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government programme. Get a Life: Learn to Cook Less tasty than potatoes. The strange thing was that when I asked both Russians and Americans about dad stereotypes or dad jokes, around 75% of people just started telling me about their dads. Learn more. Jokes News Laugh for Fun.- Funny, Blonde, Pepito, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes. 21. 121 likes. Beyond “Clean and Dirty”: The Nuances of Wearable Laundry What do you call a lethargic baby kangaroo? 2. _That food market is a-peeling. What do you call a red potato that tries to pass as a tomato? A tater tote. ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights. 10. ... A couch potato. 104 of them, in fact! A: He was afraid of the Monster Mash. Crying and Law Enforcement The End of the World: A Study in Contrast Why wouldn't the reporter leave the Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. _Small fry is like a baby potato. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It’s As Simple As Oil and Water What do you call a good-looking french fry? 15. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out cookie in each hand. Boiling Mad.
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